I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I am midnight drunk by noon
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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