hotel room ftw
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
