What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
