Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
