closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize