Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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