I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Who died my cat blue again?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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