Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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