Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
