I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
She needs sedatives and a leash
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
