I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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