yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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