I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
