Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
