Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
