Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
