Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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