i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
