OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
