I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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