I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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