white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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