Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
