dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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