Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He better not be in your backpack
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize