**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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