no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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