under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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