omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
