Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
