nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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