Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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