I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Randomize
