He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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