So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
