Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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