sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
