sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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