I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
