meet me or not, i'm out of control
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
whose parrot is this?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
