Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
