Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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