Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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