i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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