I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
