just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
