Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
