How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
