no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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