I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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