my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
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