Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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