now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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