My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
