we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
