the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
