we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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