My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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