i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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