ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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