I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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