it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
