The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
