I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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